The Real Secret to Manifesting True Love
I have been trying to start this post for upwards of a half hour by now.
How do I condense the “secret to manifesting love” into a single post?
The truth is I can’t.
No one can.
Because it’s not just one secret.
It’s a journey and a spiritual practice that take time (but way less time than you’re afraid it might!)
People love quick fixes, but scratching that “immediate gratification” itch isn’t actually going to help you.
It’s going to do more harm than good.
Because it will trick you into thinking that if you just do this “one new thing” or “change this one old pattern” everything will click and “it’ll just happen”.
(I also love you enough to tell you that if you are looking for a magic pill for something as dynamic as epic love, that you may be shortchanging yourself and actually prolonging the process! Bear with me!)
True love and sacred relationships can/do happen, and they can happen for you sooner than you think, if you are willing to try something new…
MY SIX STEP BLUEPRINT!
Bahahahaha! Just kidding! (That’s for all you coaches out there, lmao. For real, I just made myself laugh sooooo hard. 😂😂😂)
Back to Good Stuff (aka LOVE) -
We have so many bizarro programs running in the background (aka our subconscious) that dictate our love lives.
This conditioning came from:
- the parents who raised us
- the media we’ve consumed (damn you Rom-Coms!)
- the relational traumas we’ve experienced along the way
- the generational and societal wounds we’ve internalized
- and I’m sure many more weird and equally undesirable places.
What a doozy, right?
With that kind of crazy gunking up the system, no wonder relationship can feel like a mystery!
If you’re anything like me, the relationship you want is something utterly magical, real, and one-of-a-kind.
That kind of relationship requires attention, intention, practice, courage, and a good sense of humor.
That kind of relationship is a garden to be cultivated not a thing to be assembled.
It’s organic and wily and it can kick up all our deepest, darkest shenannery.
It’s also everything it’s cracked up to be!
- Lifelong adventures, snuggling up to watch movies, engagements and getting married, laughing so hard you pee a little bit, holidays with the in-laws, raising a family, building a business together, honeymooning every year, swimming with dolphins, buying a house together… all those things you want, you get to have!
But here is the kicker:
No one taught you how to “do love” well!
So you’ve been making it up.
And you’ve been doing your best but honestly, you were given shit tools (remember all that weird conditioning I mentioned?) to try and sculpt one of the things that is most important to you!
And I hear ya.
So many magnificent men and women I talk to are tired AF of being told they need to “be” different or “do” things differently.
So I’m not gonna do that.
I am going to offer you a new way to play and participate in the process.
So here are a few of the unconventional but effective strategies I have used to craft my own epic love story as well as help my clients to create theirs.
1. CHOOSE YOUR REALITY (AKA EMBRACE THAT YOU ARE THE AUTHOR AND THE PROTAGONIST OF YOUR LOVE STORY)
Once upon a time I thought “good men are hard to find” and you want to know what, I was right.
Oh the drama of un-intentioned dating!
I felt like my friends were always in relationships but not me.
I didn't feel like men noticed me, especially not the ones I liked.
That is until I decided I was going to create a new belief to guide my reality:
“I am surrounded by remarkable men that like me and I relish the opportunity to be able to choose them”.
And lo’ and behold, a year later I looked around my life and I was surrounded by truly remarkable men - friends, colleagues, family, and lovers.
However, I was still seeing a trend I didn’t like.
I was either dating men that I was attracted to but who were unavailable and chose to live in resource scarcity OR Men who were well-resourced and available but that I did not find attractive.
So I realized I needed to get even more specific.
The new reality I chose was:
“I am wooed and pursued by attractive, available, accomplished men.”
Now it took a few months but soon enough I was dating several men who were available, accomplished in their own right, and very attractive.
One of whom is the green-eyed, lion-hearted, wickedly smart, spiritually courageous, man I’m with today! (and did I mention dead sexy?)
2. DON’T SETTLE, COMMIT
I speak to a lot of women (and men) who say they won’t settle for a lack-luster relationship because they know they can be happy on their own. And this is definitely an empowered alternative to choosing a relationship out of loneliness!!
But what if there is another option available to you?
I thought I was unlucky in love, always ending up with men who were unavailable, didn’t feel like my match, or spending long periods single partially because I actually do like keeping my own company and partially because of the aforementioned unwillingness to settle for less than majestic relationship.
But I changed my Love Story Mantra (see #1) because I finally admitted to myself how much I truly wanted to experience an epic love story in this lifetime.
And when I let myself feel that truth fully I knew that there was no going back.
So I committed to gifting myself that relationship NO. MATTER. WHAT.
I decided that single but happy - while empowered - wasn’t what I truly wanted and therefore I wasn’t going to settle for it.
If you truly want partnership, why settle for being happily single when you could commit to being happily partnered?
I chose to believe that part of my sacred assignment in this lifetime is to live legendary love, to practice it, to birth it, to co-create it, to model it, and to teach it.
AND NOW IT’S MY FUCKING REALITY!!!
Because I refused to settle for anything less than what I truly desired.
I swear, it was in that DECISION that fate shifted.
3. DARE TO WANT IT BIG TIME. YOU’VE GOT TO!
A lot of enlightened, successful, badass women are afraid to admit to themselves how much they want that sweep-you-off-your-feet kind of love.
There is nothing wrong with you for wanting it! Wanting it doesn’t make you any less independent, capable, or powerful.
And there is nothing wrong with you for wanting it and not having it!
Letting yourself admit to you - and the world - how much you want it can be wicked painful but it also shifts you out of hiding and into the space of full truth, which is a much more powerful place to manifest from.
Can you see how if you are hiding your desire, even from yourself, it could be really challenging to call in what you really want?
4. IT TAKES PRACTICE
Turns out, relating is a skill.
And if you're a human, you were probably conditioned to do it in really weird, unconscious, and possibly destructive ways!
So as you practice new ways of doing dating, doing relationship, and doing love, you’re probably going to suck a little bit and be clumsy.
Be gentle with yourself!
It takes practice and patience to get in alignment with your dream love story.
5. LIKE I SAID, IT ALSO TAKES PATIENCE
You’ve spent your whole life amassing evidence for why things are the way they are.
It will take some courageous patience and new strategies around what kind of evidence you collect and how you value it to usher your new reality into being.
So for example, instead of looking around your life and seeing all the men that are not a good fit for you or all the relationships that you would not want to be in, begin to take note of men demonstrating attributes you admire and relationships that live in the ball park of what you want for yourself.
What you look for you will find.
So stop looking for turds and start looking for gold!
This will help you feel more excitement and possibility as you call in the love story you desire.
6. LAY DOWN YOUR ARMOR ⚔️💗
This one is a toughy!
I know because I have a highly developed, well-used suit of armor myself!
If you are in protection, you are repelling the love you want.
It is literally that simple. 🤷♀️
7. LEARN ABOUT THE ENERGETICS OF INTIMACY 🔥🔥🔥
I am not going to go into it here but if you want to learn more, comment below and I’ll create a whole post about it.
You may have heard buzz-words like Divine Masculine or Divine Feminine / Queen and King. I learned and prefer to used the terms Alpha and Omega to denote these energies.
It makes it possible to differentiate the energies from gender.
But basically if you want to enjoy SEXY FOR LIFE, understanding the energetics of intimacy is like getting access to the secret handbook of yum! Muy importante!
And if you only know these as buzzwords, definitely hit me up in the comments because I can help you understand these in a way that is super accessible, powerful, and not airy-fairy.
8. CLEAN UP YOUR THOUGHTSCAPE 🤔
I used to think these thoughts and ask myself these kinds of questions all the time.
Do any of these sound familiar?
“If I was in alignment, then he’d be here by now. So I must be out of alignment.”
“What am I doing wrong?”
“What am I missing?”
“I’ve done everything everything right.”
“Maybe I’m just not meant to have it.”
“Maybe it’s not even real.”
“What’s the point?”
“Am I running out of time?”
Or you see people in beautiful relationships and a voice inside wonders what it’s really like behind the social media curtain. It can’t be that good in real life!
And sometimes these still sneak back in through the back door!
(I share this so you know that you don’t have to have a perfect thoughtscape to call in epic love, but if this has been your wheelhouse, than you SUPER DUPER need an upgrade from the one you’ve been playing in!)
This line of questioning is fear-based, protective, and self-sabotaging.
When it comes down to it, these are very poor-quality questions and they are going to render poor-quality answers, if any.
Instead, it’s time to choose really beautiful, creative questions to guide your thoughts and actions.
“What do I really want?”
“What is this moment showing me I am committed to?”
“What might be all the possible ways I could prepare myself for epic love and partnership?
“What would make this process and journey fun and exciting right now?”
“What reality do I choose to participate in creating today?”
So there you have it.
Eight of my precious, unconventional tools/perspectives to play with to help breathe new life and joy into your love story!
If you want the next one hundred or so bouncing around in my head when they come out, head to the bottom of this page and sign up to get in the know!
Also, this applies to everybody - whatever gender you identify with, whichever sexuality orientation!
It also applies to people who are currently in relationship. Most people in relationship can powerfully deepen the experience they have with their partner by playing with this stuff!