Three Big Mistakes That Are Keeping You Single (When You Don’t Want To Be)

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What you are experiencing in your love life is a direct reflection of how you are showing up for it.

Ouch.
Did that hurt to hear?

I’m not saying this to make you feel bad.
I’m saying this because I know how much you want it.
And I’m here, advocating for you to have it. 
KNOWING it is possible for you.
I’m also keenly aware of the ways you are resisting it and preventing it from happening in your own life.
If you are tired of living without the relationship you want, you may be making these three BIG mistakes.

Mistake #1: “Playing It Cool.”

This looks like not acknowledging how much you want it, acting like it isn’t important to you, and saying things like “I don’t need a relationship to be happy”, which might be true, but also fails to acknowledge that having one is what would make you happiest.

Playing it cool is a thinly veiled protection strategy.
If you want a captivating, fulfilling, lasting relationship, then start acting like it.

The caliber of King/Queen that you want is not going to be impressed that “you don’t really care”.

The only people who will resonate with that nonchalance are people who are in protection-mode themselves, or are not interested in a devoted, committed relationship right now (or possibly ever).

When I finally made the decision to call in my King, any man who was wishy-washy about what he wanted didn’t make it to a round two. And neither will you.

I was inhabiting my space of Queendom and unless he said something like “I want to be with a Queen and co-create an epic fucking relationship” I was not into it.

So stop letting “playing it cool” or being casual get in the way of what you really want. 

Until you own it, the perfect partner could be sitting right across from you and you wouldn’t be able to see it
AND the opportunity to opt in to an epic life with you would be invisible to them based on what you are putting out there.

Mistake #2: “Playing the Numbers Game”

If you treat dating like it’s a numbers game, that’s exactly the experience you are going to have - a lot of blind dates with a lot of ill-matching people.

For most people they are looking for ONE super-compatible, incredible person to create a life with… So stop casting a net that’s designed to catch dozens if not hundreds.

Get clear.
Get specific.
Get aligned.

And start showing up as the resourceful boss that you are!

Tell your friends what you are looking for, share it on Facebook, hire a matchmaker (and tell him/her exactly what you are looking for), ask the people you know who you admire if they know anyone that matches that description and let them know you are open and excited to be introduced to qualified suitors, tell the people you go on dates with what you are looking for… etc.

Stop being a generalist in your dating life because it’s not representative of what you truly want, which makes it a bogus strategy to making it actually happen.

Mistake #3: Crossing-Your Fingers and “Manifesting It”

Stop waiting around hoping for it to fall in your lap. 
That is an old, ineffective, crazy-painful strategy.

I am ALL about the law of attraction and manifesting epic shit. 
But deciding that you are “calling in your king/queen” usually isn’t enough.
For manifesting to really take on that otherworldly level of delivery, you need to have a powerful, effective strategy for how you are participating in the process. 
And no, a vision board is not usually enough.
You have to know how you are showing up THROUGHOUT the entire process.
Not just the intention setting portion.

In addition, seek out unconventional, new ways to approach love and relationship.

Find people - like me - who teach a different way and start reading their books, attending their workshops/events, and hiring them to mentor you.

And if you are experiencing any reticence to these suggestions, consider that you may actually be experiencing lack of trust in yourself. 

You’re afraid it won’t work for you.
Here’s the rub, I can GUARANTEE that it won’t work as long as you don’t give it a shot.

But WHAT IF, you did give it a shot? 
What if it does work for you?

Look at your dating/love life.

If you are currently disappointed and frustrated, what else needs to happen for you to say enough is enough and decide not to deny yourself your love story any longer?
How many more months and years do you want to spend without it?

***

This post may feel a little bit like tough love. Because it is.
Because someone needs to tell you to stop resisting the love you want!
And if I’m tired of you not having the love you want, I can only imagine how you must feel.
I know you want that relationship.
I know you want it so bad it can hurt.
And I know that when you’re honest with yourself it is the one thing you want above everything else.

You don’t have to live without it anymore.

You can set it in motion today and invite the reality in sooner than you think.
But you have to STOP numbing out, protecting your heart, and acting like you don’t want it as much as you do.
You have to stop trying to “go it alone” because you have not been given the tools yet. 
No one taught you how to “do love” in a way that will actually lead to you creating what you really want.

For most people love doesn’t just happen.
Look at the divorce rate.

Epic Love, the kind of love you day dream about, is a practice.
And relationship is the temple within which you get to do the most rewarding, challenging, exciting, igniting practice on planet Earth.

But if you recognize the need to take an active role in guiding and authoring your love story, and you leverage powerful support, 
And you seek our and employ unconventional, effective approaches,
And you play full out no matter what…

It WILL work for you.

That’s the beauty of this journey.

But if you continue to avoid it, deny it, hide from it, numb to it, resist it… you may end up like most of the people on this planet - settling for connection when what you truly desire is real, true, deep love.

Don’t settle.
Choose epic instead.

***

If this is you and you’re ready to begin your own epic love story, claim your free Love Breakthrough Call below to begin to learn new ways to have the love you want with the partner you’ve always dreamed of.

Theora Moench