Have You Ever Thought “There Are No Good Men Out There”? (Here is One Simple Step to Unf*ck Your Love Life)

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In December 2016, I was at Tony Robbins’ most-praised event, Date With Destiny, and I heard myself think, “There are no good men out there.” To which I immediately responded “OH SHIT!”

I understood that my thoughts created my reality. Both science and mysticism agree on this. 

Through our thoughts, we direct our brain to pay attention to certain things.
Through our focus, we create our frequency, and scarcity is  low-ass frequency.

“Where focus goes, energy flows” they say.

I knew that if my brain was thinking “there are no good men” then it was also amassing evidence to prove that belief right.

I decided that I was going to intentionally choose a new belief and start collecting evidence for that instead. 

“There are remarkable men all around me.”

I repeated this to myself often, especially when the old crappy belief wanted to pop in, and I would consciously and intentionally take note of evidence of my new belief being true.

In my brain I had an old file folder titled BAD GUYS, FAILED RELATIONSHIPS that was thick with a decade and a half of evidence. So I created a new file folder called REMARKABLE MEN and began to put anything and everything in it that reinforced the possibility and reality that there were remarkable men in the world.

In the span of less then a year, I went from a life that seemed devoid of good men to one in was brimming with remarkable men - men who had become my friends, my colleagues, my mentors and teachers, and my family. Even the men I was dating were in a whole new league than ever before.

I now had ample evidence that remarkable men not only existed, but were truly everywhere.

And while being surrounded by incredible men was wonderful, I had failed to specify that I in fact wanted a relationship with a remarkable man of my own. So another choice became available to me. From this space of reverence for great men, it became much less of a leap to believe that there might be a remarkable men, or even many remarkable men, who would want to be in relationship with me. So I chose a new belief and upgraded my mantra once again to…

“I am wooed and pursued by attractive, available, accomplished men.”

This helped me surrender more to the process, stay anchored to my sovereignty and feminine power, and create the space for men who were attracted to me to make their desires known.

Within two months I was being wooed and pursued by no less than four men who fit this profile. One of whom was Joshua.

So in less than a year and a half I completely transformed my relationship to men AND called in the love of my life.

This was not the only thing I did to transform my journey and call him in, but it was a big component and so I would urge you to examine the thoughts your brain entertains and get clear on if they are serving you or not.

Here are some common ones:
“There are no good men out there”
“All the good ones are taken”
“Men are assholes.”
“Men are immature.”
“Men don’t have their shit together.”

This is a version of you that is trying to protect you because our heart has been deeply hurt be bad loves or lack of loves. But this unexamined protection strategy is no longer serving you to live the life you want.

So feel free to copy and paste my new beliefs into your life OR take them and make them your own. Here are several others I have played with and have had my clients play with as homework that have powerfully contributed to them healing their relationship to men.

“Men are deeply devoted to truth.”
“I am surrounded by men who make me feel safe, seen, and understood.”
“I am surrounded by men who honor and celebrate women”
“I am attractive to men I am attracted to.”
“I am wooed and pursued by remarkable men.”
“I am surrounded by powerful men who adore powerful women.”

If you choose to embrace a new belief and you are actively collecting evidence to prove it right, your experience of men in the world is going to shift rapidly. Sometimes in a matter of days, weeks, or months.

So buckle up to have you mind blown by all the honorable, incredible, magnificent men out there!

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If this hit home for you, send me a message and share one old belief you are leaving behind and the new belief you are choosing to invest in from here on out!

Theora Moench